neilsthepoet blog

All further posts are now being posted

2011-09-08T19:38:00.000-07:00

At this link here

http://nobodyaskedyou-neilsthepoet.blogspot.com/

Or you can go to the profile and find it in
amongst my other blogs....it is entitled

What of this time passing - neilsthepoet

Thanks for taking the time to come here

Neils
9:36 pm
09/08/2011

Age

2011-06-01T21:02:00.000-07:00

I have stood on the cliffs of time
And the winds have carved these lines upon my face

Some of them speak of joy
Some of them speak of pain

All would not exist
Were it not for grace

Neils
11:04 pm
06/01/2011

Everyman

2011-04-24T09:01:00.001-07:00

Everyman lives in his own world
Everyman makes his own way
He is responsible for what he does
He is accountable for what he may say

A real man is not kowtowed
By fear of regret or threat
But will speak factually and accurately
Act like he has a set

Even in the face of false peer pressure
The kind that would have one kneel
Like it's some kind of reasonable precaution
That by process of appeasement one can appeal

To the better nature
Of those who twist and wriggle and connive
Far better it be to fight for right and freedom
Than to surrender to slavery to survive

Far better it be to die
Than it is to not live free
For all the precious
Treasures and Pleasures

All are naught
Without courage and capability

Neils
10:56 am
04/24/2011
*
transcribed this time
11:01 am
04/24/2011

N....again

I'll never get to read

2011-03-05T17:00:00.000-08:00

I'll never get to read
Another brand new Robert B Parker book
I always knew I liked him
Didn't even have to give him a second look

He could write that hard guy stuff
That combination of adrenaline and wit
Who doesn't like a private eye
Who physically and verbally knows how to hit

A literate boxer with more than a
Tea spoon of charm
A bull dog on a case
And one with some pretty hefty arms

He was relentless in his pursuit
He could do that face to face
He went as far as guts would take him
Right to the edge of instinct and grace

Nobody was better at the wise crack
Than Spencer when put to the test
Threats of death or a womans breasts
There's no reason a man shouldn't give his best

I read many a book of his straight through
While some I'd savor as the sun went down
A man should leave his mark on the world
There aren't many of his kind left around

His love of Suzanne
Would take your breath away
It's an amazing depiction of when
A guy meets his true match

What he'll do and what he'll say

Gun fights and blood and romance
Sacrifice and honor and how will it be
If we don't see it through to the end
How would we ever go on

If it wasn't a mystery

Neils
6:52 pm
03/05/2011
*
transcribed this time
7:01 pm
03/05/2011

N....again

A Southern Girl

2011-03-02T10:35:00.000-08:00

Is a gift from God
Is a gift to man
A living miracle
Beyond all plans

She can be mild
She can be wild
Fierce as a mountain lion
Protecting her child

She can charm and disarm
She can rock the world
She stands proud
When the flag unfurls

In fields or small towns
She says what she means
In a hooped gown
Or a pair of blue jeans

She likes fishin
She likes guns
She ain't afraid of work
She ain't afraid of fun

You can have all the riches
Your diamonds and pearls
Because there ain't nuthin
In the world like a Southern Girl

Neils
8:47 am
03/02/2011
*
transcribed this time
12:36 pm
03/02/2011

N....again

And from the section Brand New Old Sayings

2011-02-19T16:16:00.000-08:00

The only way you can turn off being an artist
Is if you've never been one

***********
***********

Isn't it more like
Truth and Consequences

************
************

Moments of songs and trains
Everything we wanted to
Moments of spring and rain
Moments of love and you

This triad
Presented by

Neils
6:20 pm
02/19/2011
*
written about 1993

N...again

Where is my freedom today

2011-02-07T15:27:00.000-08:00

But in the everyday simple things
The beans and cheese and meat
The fact that the roads are clear
And there are still good people to meet

We must all learn to carry on
And it is at times very painfully true
That the weather is not the only cold
And the sky is not the only one blue

Neils
5:30 pm
02/07/2011

My eyes are wet with tears

2011-01-28T14:07:00.001-08:00

Some sadness is forever
Some sorrow is so deep
It'll come upon you in the day time
It'll come to you in your sleep

It's just a flash of memory
It's a vision of life and pain
It's a dream of long lost joy
That now claims no mortal name

It's hard to love a lover
Who's independent willful and strong
The whole world seems against them
Where is it they belong

But in our heart
As broken as it may be
But all I can say when it happens
Is thank you for loving me

Neils
4:05 pm
01/28/2011
*
transcribed this time
4:08 pm
01/28/2011

N....again

Things left unsaid

2011-01-21T16:24:00.000-08:00

Say them now

Say them to the stars
Say them to the sky
Say them with the tear drops
That fall when you cry

For the missed opportunities
For the by gone chances
Say them for the memories
And the shattered scattered romances

Say them for the winter
And for that coat given by a friend
Lest there not be a collar
To turn up

To the cold and freezing wind

Neils
5:53 pm
01/21/2011
*
transcribed this time
6:25 pm
01/21/2011

N....again

I'd dance with you

2010-12-23T12:52:00.001-08:00

I'd dance with you
All night

Underneath the moonlight
Underneath the stars
Comin out of the radio
Comin out of the car

We would dance fast
We could dance slow
To the beat of our hearts
Till we were both aglow

With beads of perspiration
On our bodies gleaming
We might have our eyes closed
But we'd be

Wide awake and dreaming

Let me hold your hand
Let me whirl twirl you around
Till both of us you know
Sorta accidently...

Fall to the ground

Neils
2:49 pm
12/23/2010
*
transcribed this time
2:53 pm
12/23/2010

N....again

Just a lil country gal

2010-12-21T09:55:00.000-08:00

She can be your girlfriend
She can be your pal
But first and last and always
She's a lil country gal

She can make you happy
She can make you think
She can uplift your day
When she gives you a wink

She's a dancer of the two step
She's got boots and jeans
She will tell you right straight out
Exactly what she means

She loves diging in her garden
She loves the wind in her hair
She is such a natural
And you can't help but care

When you see her standing there

Neils
11:47 am
12/21/2010
*
transcribed this time
11:56 am
12/21/2010

N...again

Upon Request

2010-12-11T13:31:00.000-08:00

Upon being asked

What does Doo Whaa Ditty means

It means you're here now
So make the best of the scene
It means that girl wants to dance
That one with the frilly blouse and jeans

Why else is she wearing pig tails
Poodle skirts and bobby socks
Why else is she bouncin that pony tail
To the heart beat of rhythm and rock

Neils
10:40 am
03/26/2011

Don't forget

2010-12-10T07:01:00.000-08:00

Don't forget to pour a little gasoline
On that fire down deep in your soul
Don't be afraid to crank it up a bit
We could all use a little rock and roll

Don't be afraid to embrace that storm
Rollin in dark and black
Look right into the heart of it
And you'll find .... it's lookin back

****
****

Feel that thunder in your blood
Feel that lightning in your veins
Sometimes you got to go a little crazy
To keep from goin insane

When the lightning lights up the sky
You can peel it all the way back to the pain
And when those tear drops start to fall
That's when

That's when
You can get down
You can get down

To dancin in the rain

****
Cue: sound effects and guitar
****

Neils
6:38 pm
12/09/2010

It can't happen here

2010-11-24T16:37:00.000-08:00

We would never be invaded by illegal aliens
Without one meaningful shot
We would never return them over and over again
So they can be released and re-caught

We would never bow to the Saudis
We would never take from Chavez a book
We would never ignore North Korea
And give their sinking of ships no second look

It can't happen here
There will never be thousands of gangs
With millions of members roaming the street
Out there wilding looking for a chance to bang

We'll never be turned to Socialism
By a scum bag with a serpents tongue
Our schools will never be used and abused
To brain wash our young

There will never be so dark of night
There will never be such an evil storm
That demons will run amok
And with impunity kill the unborn

They would never put on trial
Three SEALs some of America's best
What Jag Off would take such an order
Would subject honorable men to such

An abjectly detestable test

*********
*********

It could never happen here
It could never happen here
The sun will always shine
The way will always be clear

But fear can be a good thing
It whispers in our ear
It tells us to ready ourselves
It tells us something is very near

For it is not that we are afraid when even
Truth must face those who would doubt it
And even if the earth itself does tremble
We must ask ourselves

What ragged and weary worn heart
Will still rise to to do something about it

Neils
9:00 am
04/29/2010
*
transcribed this time
6"38 pm
11/24/2010

N....again

The Truth

2010-11-23T13:08:00.001-08:00

The truth

The truth isn't always beautiful
The truth isn't always easy to take
But it beats bein false hearted
And living your life as a fake

The truth isn't always comfortable
And most of the time must be earned
But turning away from it and hiding
Can definitely leave a mark that burns

The truth is the truth and without it
You truly can end up hurting yourself
But even worse than that
You can selfishly and mindlessly

Inflict pain on someone else

Try hard to love yourself
Because if you don't who can
Love for beginners is often only
Restricted as that between a woman and man

But what about the skys
What about the songs
What about the moon
Not everything has to be right or wrong

Let in some harmony
Some wisdom in a book
Try having some respect
For the things in life

That deserve more than a cursory look

Neils
10:52 am
11/21/2010
*
transcribed this time
3:08 pm
11/23/2010

N....again

And....in the late night hours

2010-11-17T11:21:00.000-08:00

And in the late night hours

When the souls come out to
Walk the grounds
You can feel their passing through you
As they move without a sound

Oh how they long for freedom
Freedom from the grave
But their chances died out right with them
And now there's nothing left to save

Neils
7:35 pm
11/15/2010
*
transcribed this time
1:21 pm
11/17/2010

N....again

I've been down

2010-11-15T19:58:00.000-08:00

I've been down

I've been shattered and splattered
I've been lied to and tied up to please
I've been lifted up to the sky
And left crying on my knees

I've been thrown out
I've been invited back in
I've been told that all my best times
Are nothing but living sin

*********
*********

But I'll never forget you
You were so wild and insane
I'll never ever ever forget
What's her name

Hey baby that's not true
Maybe it's just the howling wind
Maybe it would all come back
If I heard us moan together again

*********
*********

I've been rocked by the best
I've been rolled by the worse
I've had to call a taxi
But all they sent was a hearse

I've been down some hard roads
I've slept on floors and feather beds
But I'm beginning to think
I'm never gonna get you outta my head

Neils
8:35 pm
11/15/2010
*
dedication to desire and Desiree

N....again
*
transcribed this time
10:00 pm
11/15/2010

N....yetagain

98.6 and rising

2010-10-31T08:15:00.000-07:00

Sometimes love is gentle

Sometimes it is a bit edgy
Sometimes it is just right
Sometimes love finds it's way
In the day

Sometimes
Way into the night

Sometimes love makes sense
And other times definitely not
Oh but don't we know it's true
Love is always cool....

When it's hot

Neils
10:11 am
10/31/2010
*
transcribed this time
10:16 am
10/31/2010

N....again

They are so magic

2010-10-29T22:59:00.001-07:00

I know they yell and cry
And sometimes don't clean up their room
But they do bring joy to this life
And chase away some of the doom and gloom

I loved the way they sword fight
I loved the runs in the yard
I loved the way they reveal and heal
And remind my heart

You can at times be noble
Without being definsive and hard

Neils
11:53 am
10/27/2010
*
transcribed this time
1:00 am
10/30/2010

N...again

The Killing at Falcon Lake

2010-10-16T09:59:00.000-07:00

And what is Obama doing
Napolitano Pelosi or Reid
They don't care who gets murdered
They don't care who has to bleed

To get to that cheap labor
To get to those cheap votes
Kidnappings murders and home invasions
Your American rights are a joke

Corruption rules in Mexico
Government or the Drug Cartels
Different names for the same ol game
Here to make our lives a living Hell

And who is it that's selling us out
Every Stinking Illegal Alien supporter
And any idiot who goes along with
Every rotten leftist reporter

Neils
9:33 am
10/14/2010
*
transcribed this time
11:59 am
10/16/2010

N....again

Possibilites

2010-10-15T14:03:00.000-07:00

Possibilites

Is it in what we see
Or how we see or both

Fall can bring about

Pleasant afternoons
Pictures drawn with colored chalk
On that great canvas in a snall town
The family house's front side walk

Fall brings about

Red leaves falling to the ground
The cool night air sweeping in
And maybe even maybe even

A kind word every now and then

Neils
4:01 pm
10/15/2010
*
transcribed this time
4:04 pm
10/15/2010

N....again

Into the night

2010-09-22T21:24:00.000-07:00

It's easier to give up
It's easier to cave
It's easier to know
There's nothing left to save

Of the innocence that burned
Inside a once young heart
It's easier to sell the pieces
After it's been ripped apart

And then it's

What's the use of goin on
What's the use of trying
Once the spirit is numb or dead
What's the use of crying

When despair can darken a door
With it's cold unfeeling hand
But nothing like a pretend friend
Pretending to understand

And then it's

Darkness in the corners
Reaching forth to take hold
Come to rob you of your life
There's a shadow on your soul

And then it's easier
It's as easy as sin
Iti's easier to give up
It's easier to give in

Neils
10:56 pm
09/22/2010
*
transcribed this time
11:24 pm
09/22/2010

N....again

What do you want me to do

2010-09-14T09:36:00.000-07:00

Crawl across broken glass
Grab a red hot poker
And stick it up my ass

What do you want me to do
How should I apologize
Should I get a pair of scicissors
And shove them in my eyes

Should I sell my very soul
To buy you a coffee cup
Should I spend the rest of my life
Admitting I'm nothing but corrupt

How did I ever manage
To make such a mistake
Now I'll never be perfect
Now I'll never catch

That lucky break

Neils
11:34 am
09/14/2010
*
transcribed this time
11:36 am
09/14/2010

N....again

With everything

2010-08-26T08:11:00.000-07:00

We fight the fight

We fight the fight alone
We fight with children at our feet
We fight to win
And not merely to avoid defeat

We fight with everything
With our body mind and soul
We fight under any conditions
The rain the sleet the heat the cold

We fight for the big ideas
Our freedoms and liberties
We fight for the ethereal
For such things as destiny

And eternity

But mainly we fight for those
With us down in the mud
We fight shoulder to shoulder
Day after day

For the sacredness of our blood

Neils
10:07 am
08/26/2010
*
transcribed this time
10:11 am
08/26/2010

N....again

This train is rollin

2010-08-03T07:54:00.000-07:00

This train is rollin
Rollin on down the track
And where she's going
There's no coming back

This train is bound for glory
This train is bound for pain
This train has got her stories
And her list of names

Can't you here her comin
Comin on down the line
Can't you hear that track a hummin
Countin off the time

****
****

What is it you said today
What is it you got done
Why would anyone choose Darkness
Over the light of the Sun

It's as if it was never written
As if the words were never meant to be
What you do to the least among you
You most certainly do to me

****
****

This train is rollin
Rollin on down the track
And where she's goin
There's no comin back

You better be takin a look
Takin a look deep inside
You might want to reconsider
If your chosen guide is false pride

Can't you here her comin
Comin on down the line
Can't you hear that track a hummin
Countin off the time

What was done every day
What's been done over years
How much has one lost their way
To think there hasn't been enough tears

****
****

This train is rollin
Rollin on down the track
And where she's going
There's no coming back

This train is rollin baby
This train is a rollin on down the line

Neils
8:46 am
08/03/2010
*
transcribed this time
9:54 am
08/03/2010

N.....again

Thinkin about

2010-08-02T10:20:00.000-07:00

Thinkin about knowin
or
Is it knowin about thinkin

Sometimes I know
I really need a friend
But also learning to be one
Might be a good place to begin

Sometimes I think
Battles won or lost
It definitely does all come
At a remarkable cost

Sometimes I think
I won't make a mistake
If I'm just real careful
I could get a lucky break

But then the truth comes round
And knocks on my door
And says you think you've seen trouble
Well I've got more

Yeah sometimes the only freedom
When everything's coming at you
Is you can't control it all
Only your response what you choose to do

****
****

I think we need steel back bones
That can sometimes bend
And it's not how many times
We get knocked down in the end

But it's if we get back up
That one more time again

Neils
11:36 am
08/02/2010
*
transcribed this time
12:20 pm
08/02/2010

N....again

SEE

2010-06-26T09:15:00.000-07:00

It says right here on this piece of paper
I can take your land and life
I now get to kill all your sons
I get to rape and sell your wife

Oh well
It looks like you lose
You no longer
Have a right to chose

Where your borders are
Who gets Health Care
If Drug Cartels can use the parks
It's time the undocumented got their share

SEE

You need to shut-up
About gangs kidnappings and crime
You need to shut-up and give it up
Besides you dirty nasty gringos

Are way past your prime

Neils
10:21am
06/26/2010
*
transcribed this time
11:15 am
06/26/2010

N....again

The beauty of

2010-05-12T10:09:00.000-07:00

Some simple easy going conversation
That just happens by circumstance and chance
Is like a wild flower blooming
Is like a child doing a happy dance

It puts a spontaneous song in the heart
It lightens brightens up the day
How wonderful it is to know
That common sense and truth

Still have something to say

Neils
12:02 pm
05/12/2010
*
transcribed this time
12:09 pm
05/12/2010

N....again

Children of the light

2010-05-03T20:27:00.000-07:00

Children of the sun
What is the secret magic
To how love is done

I don't know when
I don't know where
But suddenly there it is
Floating in the air

Looking like a leaf
Looking like a bird
Looking like a smile
And a softly spoken word

Neils
10:22 pm
05/03/2010
*
transcribed this time
10:28 pm
05/03/2010

N....again

Everybody wants to be strong Nobody wants to work on their weaknesses

2010-04-29T22:36:00.000-07:00

I like to disagree

I like to hold a grudge
I don't like to work things out
I like to mood and brood
And cast out about a lot of doubt

Trauma drama is the best
The kind that hurts real deep
Why not everybody else does it
Why not be a creep

I don't want an honest conversation
I don't want it simple and direct
I like to look at it like you owe me
And I'm just here to collect

Oh I can be aggressive
Or be like a broken winged dove
What ever it takes to break a heart
What ever it takes to desicrate love

Look at me Look at me
Look look look at how innocent I am
Only you are the wolf in sheeps clothing
Only I am the sacred gentle lamb

It's as hard to tell who's a liar
As it is to know if the sun is hot
It's hard to know if a soul is clean
Especially one that's been recently bought

Don't come at me with that sorrowful look
Your pain gains no solice here
I won't weep for your wounded pride
And I won't drink of your bitter tears

Neils
10:47 pm
04/29/2010
*
transcribed this time
12:36 am
04/30/2010

N....again

Camping in the Cabin

2010-04-29T22:32:00.000-07:00

At the farm

There in the quiet of the evening
Beneath an Oklahoma sky
There was a moment of peace
And Relaxation between you and I

The geese were overhead
The goats were on the ground
The fire was the fire with
All it's light and crackling sounds

We were drinking coffee
And plotting to take over the world
But somehow got distracted
And started talkin about the girls

Neils
11:08 am
04/272010

More inside info

2010-04-26T07:31:00.000-07:00

More inside info on the
dog conspiracies goin around

Be advised

They are known to be loyal
Even though they'll eat bugs
And are some how forgivable
Even when they shit on the rug

They're glad to see us
If we're gone five minutes or all day
Their intentions are clear even if
All they've got is a smile and a tail

To say what they've got to say

I've known more dogs
That have been a better friend
Than those two legged creatures
Whose kindness is mostly pretend

Give me that mania
Jumping up on the bed
Let me hide beneath the covers
To keep my face and head

From such honest enthusiasm
In the dawns early light
They're honest in their affection
And yet merciless in protecting me

Come need of a fight

Man they eat a lot
But I vow they'll never lack
Even though they chew up
My socks gloves and hat

Neils
9:28 am
04/26/2010
*
transcribed this time
9:32 am
04/26/2010

N....again

Who is it

2010-03-28T17:20:00.000-07:00

You know the thing about free speech is that in order to make it healthier;

We need more free speech not less.

************
************

I find those that endeavor to shut others down somehow think that it is they alone
who should be the sole arbiters of taste, intelligence, and worthiness
The also seem to not want to openly and honestly debate on equal ground.

Who is it

Who is it that seems to fear actual interchange
Who is it that seems to want to judge rather than explore
Who is it that seems to want to control others and the venue
Rather than deal with an equally open door

It is sad sad sad
But true
For we also speak
By what we do

Anybody can shout something
And then run away
Anybody can whisper gossip
And then play you told them that day

It takes a certain amount of bravery
To seek to go past what you are told
It takes a certain amount of humility
To dare to bear your soul

Every man and woman has cried tears
Every child of light has endured pain
Sometimes how we love the world
Is as simple as our intentions

When we speak anothers name

Neils
7:07-15 pm
03/28/2010
*
transcribed this time
7:20 pm
03/28/2010

N....again

For Some

2010-03-15T09:20:00.000-07:00

I guess it's just too real
When

The Hill doesn't care if you can climb it
The bag doesn't care if you punch it out
The weights don't care if you lift them
Because challenges always come with their doubts

Haunting you at your edges
Abilities always have to be maintained
An athlete is always kinda banged out
Always has some nagging pain

Adrenaline has to be payed for
Endorphines come at a price
Most of it comes with blood and sweat
Oh yeah..it's not all happy sweet and nice

****
****

Used to be's and you're not me
Only go so far
But you know what they say

When it's you don't have to like it
You just have to do it
And the last easy day was yesterday

Neils
11:16 am
03/15/2010
*
transcribed this time
11:20 am
03/15/2010

N....again

The Old Way

2010-03-02T08:04:00.001-08:00

****
****

As in truth and honor
Are the way
And the heart of a warrior
If he is to win the day

Real intelligence is practical
Real intelligence serves a use
Real intelligence is necessary
To not have to suffer abuse

When arrogance walks the towns
When foolishness tolerates too much
When excuses and dellusion
Gives a weaker mind a crutch

Loyalty has it's place
Family has its grace
Strength is essential
To maintain the core base

The Old way is still around
It is what some call soul
It knows when to be discreet
It knows when it should be bold

Food shelter and air
Are more valuable than jewels
As is respect for the abilities
To protect ourselves from fools

Neils
10:00 am
03/02/2010
*
transcribed this time
10:05 am
03/02/2010

N....again

A Friend

2010-01-19T20:29:00.000-08:00

Sometimes it’s a day on the farm
Sometimes it’s a cold winter wind
Sometimes if it’s only sitin and talking
It’s good to know you have a friend

Sometimes when the days get tough
Sometimes when the work never ends
Sometimes if it’s eatin cakes home baked
It’s good to share with a friend

Sometimes it’s a wave goin by
Sometimes just a nod come the days end
Sometimes there in the quiet of evening
Comes a smile remembering a smile

From one you know
You can count on as a friend

Neils
2:30 pm
01/18/2010
*
transcribed this time
10:29 pm
01/19/2010

N.....again

I do want to live

2009-11-25T06:12:00.000-08:00

But I ain't backin down
I ain't givin in
I'm goin with my kind
Seein it through to the end

I will face what comes
For the fathers sons moms and daughters
I ain't backin down
Come Hell or High Water

There's nothing without freedom
And I will not have mine taken
I will not turn away or break
Or leave the truth forsaken

There's evil loose in the land
And it comes in all shapes and forms
I will not let it put a spell on me
Or bind me blind me to conform

There's only one light
And I'm drivin hard into the wind
The rains leakin down into my collar
And they can send what they will send

But I ain't backin down
I ain't givin in
I'm goin with my kind
Seein it through to the end

Neils
8:29 pm
11/24/2009
*
transcribed this time
8:12 am
11/25/2009

N...again

This moment

2009-11-22T08:36:00.001-08:00

This time goes by so slowly
This drift of sand and sea
This dance of memories
This dance of you and me

I see you in the night
I see your blue black hair
I see the signs of light
That say we were there

I can feel you breathing
I still share your smile
I can sense your presence
As I walk along a country mile

You are a precious gift
You are the moons delight
And if I hadn’t met you
Nothing would have ever been right

Neils
7:46 pm
11/20/2009
*
transcribed this time
10:36 am
11/22/2009

N...again

Yesterday Today and Tommorrow

2009-09-29T11:25:00.001-07:00

Are you willing to mix it up

Are you willing to give a damn
Are you willing to hear what I say
Or tell me who you think I am

Are you willing to stand your ground
Are you willing to exchange
Are you willing to burn to learn
Can you make it threw the growing pains

Nobody said it was easy
Nobody said you automatically win
Here amongst a million lovers
I am alone unto the end

Are you willing to listen
Are you willing to talk
Can you do more than run and gun
Can you take that simple walk

Are you willing to consider
The other side before you decide
Can you find your way to the open door
Are you brave enough to go inside

Neils
4:37 pm
09/28/2009
*
transcribed this time
1:25 pm
09/29/2009

N....again

It's not the daisies that are crazy

2009-09-28T14:44:00.001-07:00

There are daisies in the side walk
There are daisies in my hand
I extend them to you like a sword
Because I’m a dangerous romantic man

Neils
4:44 pm
09/28/2009

Next Time

2009-08-06T17:34:00.000-07:00

Tell your tears it doesn't matter
Tell those streaks on your cheeks
That it is not love
In your life that you seek

Tell your broken heart
Tell your sobbing chest
Even though self justification
Is not giving your best

Tell yourself whatever
It takes to get by
Simply look away
Simply close your eyes

Lose your best friend
Lose your opportunity and choice
To speak honestly and openly
Let the dark winds take your voice

You'll never regret it
You'll never bow your head
Put it off till later
That there is a better way instead

The end never comes
Lock it into your mind
Take the easy way out
Because there is always

Next time

Neils
9:51 am
08/04/2009
*
transcribed this time
7:39 pm
08/06/2009

N....again

A lot of the art of lying

2009-08-06T17:30:00.000-07:00

Has to do
With repeating the lie
If you say it enough
It's eventually something

That they'll buy

If you emotionally explode
Go right off the deep end
Maybe you can force them
Into being your friend

If you mock and laugh
Deflect and demean
Then you can say it
Before during and in between

Act like it is they
Who deliberately interrupt
That way you can
Get away with being corrupt

Act insulted
Play the victim card
It's really quite easy
Not at all that hard

Do it in the name of order
Do it in the name of power
Go ahead and throw away
All of your life's precious hours

Be the Holy Victim
Play the Martyr's game
Punish excellence in action
Learn to shift the blame

Neils
9:18 am
08/05/2009
*
transcribed this time
7:34 pm
08/06/2009

N....again

Don't come on to me

2009-08-06T17:22:00.000-07:00

With a half empty cup
I've a full grown dragster
And feel like revvin it up

Engine tuned and ready
Driver one and the same
Power calm and steady
Lightning is my game

Buckin up to start
Digging deep and finding
Emerging moving heart
My RPM's are winding

Tell me what you want
Tell me what you ain't got
I'm not green light blinkin
Not makin my hole shot

Screaming off the line
Flattening out the tires
A positraction rear end
My pipes are breathing fire

Endorphines are my elixir
Excitment isn't blind
I need a parachute
For my concentrated mind

Neils
*
written about 1993
*
transcribed this time
7:26 pm
08/06/2009

N....again

You may not

2009-08-06T17:19:00.000-07:00

You may not ever get over it
But you do have to get on with it

Neils
7:20 pm
08/06/2009
*
with respect and love

N.....again

Jack

2009-07-13T22:46:00.000-07:00

And then he’s not there

To jump up and snatch that dry dog bone
And scoot down the hall and make you feel you’re
Not so all alone and that you do live in a home

How can such a baby so alive die
How can such a little one so loved pass
How can my rag shaking terrier terror
Have left me so fast

I miss him so much already
Did I do something to cause this
Maybe he was trying to tell me something
And it ended up something I missed

I wish I had a whole bunch of white
Hairs all over my shirt
I wish that my heart wasn’t so
Full of emptiness and hurt

He used to jump up in the chair
And sit right in my lap
And if I were real real still
He’d even rest and take a light nap

He used to sit right in front of lightning
Right there in the curve of his chest
Jack was one of the biggest little dogs ever
Jack was definitely one of the best

Now everything I do is the first time
I’ve done it without him being there
Pet and hug them all while they’re with you
Let them know you really care

It could have been the heat
The air conditioner froze up
I got too busy with the idiots
Who seem to dig being corrupt

I brought a big dog in
Maybe that created stress
Am I being too self reflective
Too self blaming it’s anybody’s guess

****
****

I buried him out a country road
And now when I run past I know that he is there
He went so young and beautiful
I still feel his presence every where

What’ll I do with those little sausages
He loved to eat those
Along with red ground chuck meat
Rolled up into little rows

Not that he couldn’t wolf down chicken
He was all the other dog’s friend
And he was definitely more than one to me
And he did it that way until the very end

I miss his joyous energy in the morning
Welcoming me to the day
I miss his jumping on my face
And now tears are all I have to say

Nothing seems the same
Knowing he’s not right outside that door
Even as I write this it’s hard …..hard
To know he’s not going to be there anymore

I miss you Jack
I love you Jack
Jack Jack the maniac
I love you I love you
And you’re never coming back

Neils
12:28 am
07/14/2009
*
get your dogs wormed
don’t let the world take them
out of turn
do all that you can
it’ll make you a better person
it’ll make you a better man

N….again

Little Jack has passed away

2009-07-10T22:02:00.000-07:00

He suddenly went down
He was lying next to me in bed
And his stillness caught my attention
Because he was always something else instead

An alive ball of energy
The original creative little ball of fun
And now his time is over
His time on this earth is done

And I love him for his memories
His aliveness and his spark
He was always right there with the pack
Adding in his little bark

He had a big heart
And god knows a friendly smile
I had found him as a puppy
Coming back from a run of ten miles

I've got to see if he was poisoned
Because he went too sudden and quick
I got to know if darkness is moving
And doing what is inhumanly sick

Maybe the new big dog
Hurt him I don't know
He went so quick not even time to
Take him to the vet ahhh man I loved him so

And he certainly loved me back
A terrier with a big big heart
He had turned into solid muscle
And certainly tried to do his part

I just don't know what happened
Now all of a sudden he's still
I'll honor him the best I can
I will pay tribute to the strengths

Of his love and energy and will

Neils
12:15 am
07/10/2009

I've got dogs

2009-07-08T09:35:00.000-07:00

I've got dogs
In my back yard

Woderful dogs
Medium sized dogs
That run around and play
And jump about

Dogs that want to go inside
Unless they're there
And then
They want to go back out....

Neils
11:07 am
11/07/2001
*
transcribed this time
11:38 am
07/08/2009

N....again

Mike Russell is a Son of a Bitch

2009-07-01T16:42:00.000-07:00

If you’re lookin for an Angel
Go someplace else
This isn’t going to improve his rep
But I kinda like’m myself

I like his balls of etiquette
His intellect sharp as a battle ax
He could be there before during or after
Cheating as usual by actually using real facts

He bent the rules when it suited him
He broke them to survive
And if I hadn’t learned a few of his tricks
His punches and kicks I wouldn’t be alive

To irritate the many assholes
Who think they run this world
Both of us have been real nice guys
And would never ever have dreamed

Of bein with the same girl

And once upon a time
I jumped over the moon
Never make your move too late
And sometimes more importantly

Never make your move too soon

I asked his opinion once about something I wrote
Although in that area it’s rare from anybody
I pursue it
He said you know to me it looks a lot like
Circumstantial evidence dripping venom
With your name written in blood
Signed to it

****

Might I reiterate

Mike Russell is a Son of a Bitch
And I feel sorry for anybody who’s ride
Hasn’t ever taken them to some God forsaken place
Where you haven’t been damn glad

Somebody like him was on your side

Neils
2:37 pm
06/24/2009

A poem

2009-06-25T00:51:00.000-07:00

You can agree or disagree with me
You can speak your mind with passion
But do not approach to intimidate me
Or put your hands on me in

Any shape or fashion

I can be persuaded by reason
I can be moved by belief
But I don’t take too lightly
Initiating a threat that I might be

Facing a lot of grief

If I don’t just shut up and go along
Like I’m not allowed any questions at all
Last time I looked I was a regular citizen too
But I don’t recall electing some kind of Deity

To City Hall

When did wanting to know
What is simple honest and true
Get turned into something that can
Be labeled an accusation and then

Hurled back at you

If somebody wants to converse with me
I’m definitely willing to listen to both sides
But please..please give me the same courtesy
Because it’s kind of hard to hear you through

All that anger vindictiveness and pride

Neils
10:34 am
06/23/2009
*
through last night
and some today

N…again

I'm still writting to you

2009-06-18T05:19:00.000-07:00

I’d rather have an hour more conversation
With you

Than two brand new amps and a guitar
I’d rather be havin a breakfast of bacon and eggs
Than to be talked up as some big rock and roll star

I’d rather be sittin in the kitchen
Waitin for the coffee to get done
Than to stand in front of the Heavens
As the seventh son of the seventh son

I’d rather have one more laugh out loud
I’d rather have one more pat on the shoulder
I’d rather have almost anything
Than my world being so much colder

I’d rather walk up on that ratty ol porch
And hear the Doors playing their rhythm low and slow
I’m thankful to not have missed walking in and seeing
That light spill in the window in a soft warm glow

I ‘d rather endure a million more trials
I’d rather face down endless heart aches and fears
Than to have missed a single one of your smiles
Than to have missed a single one of your tears

Neils
7:11 am
06/18/2009
*
transcribed this time
06.17.2998

N....again

This is our Home Town

2009-06-14T11:54:00.000-07:00

And we will make it
A better place
Be it with effort and sweat
Be it with simple grace

I will rise each day
And find a way to make it better
Be it returning a greeting
Or writing a distant friend a letter

No more will I accept the judgment
Of disgruntlement and that’s the way it goes
I have seen the desire of those
Who have the heart to let it show

So

Let’s pick up the trash
Let’s clean up the buildings and streets
Let’s show some determination
Let’s play guitars and dance to a beat

I want to join in
With potato salad and Bar B Q
I want to hear some bad jokes
And blame all the joy on you

I want to box and wrestle
I want to run and lift weights
I want a place where encouragement thrives
And discouragement is told to stand and wait

I want to see the singers
The dancers some skits and plays
I want to see talent step forth
And dare to share with us their dreams today

Young and old
Boys and girls
This is our time
This is our time

This is
Our world

Neils
9:56 am
06/10/2009
*
transcribed this time
1:51 pm
06/14/2009

N....again

When

2009-06-14T10:21:00.000-07:00

You've done the right thing
Taken an honest stand
No excuses are necessary
No matter who is it making the demand

Yes
When

You've done the right thing
And taken an honest stand
Frankly I’m more than a little inclined
To say to Hell with those

Who didn't even make much effort
At all to even try to understand

Neils
2:34 pm
06/13/2009
*
transcribed this time
12:18 pm
06/14/2009

N...again

It's time

2009-06-09T08:32:00.000-07:00

It’s time for you to stand up
And walk out

On what it truly takes
To make life worth living
It’s time to turn your back on
The heart that could be forgiving

It’s always better to leave
Before you have a chance to hear
That there is a gateway opening
A chance to get past your fears

What good is a wheel that’s turning
What good is what you already know
If you have no burning to be learning
How to make the soul seeds grow

It’s time for you to stand up
And walk out

To cut the life line back
And leave behind your dreaming
But who is it that coldly sold you
That courage bold could be replaced

By dry bloodless scheming

****
****

Who is it that first proffered forth
Who is it that extended that hand
Covered by the scaly skin of sin
And made upon you demands

That made promises of gold
That made promises of power
But in the end only stole
Life’s precious minutes and hours

Who taught you to close your eyes
To not appreciate simple joys
And that rights and freedoms of others
Are but frivolous playthings and toys

Bitterness does look like wisdom
When temptation is at hand
And telling you to not persevere
To strive to reach to understand

It’s time for you to stand up
And walk out

But will it be on open discussion
Or on rumor mongers taking the tact
That the best way to achieve goals
Is through innuendo gossip and

Endless low down filthy sneak attacks

Neils
10:51 am
06/08/2009
*
transcribed this time
10:33 am
06/09/2009
*
on a tuesday
N...again

I wish I could be more stupid

2009-06-05T09:47:00.000-07:00

I wish I was more stupid
Then I could have as many friends as you
I wish I was more stupid
Then I’d know just what to do

I’d know when to go along
When to tuck my tail and run
How to hang somebody out
And do it all as fun

I wish I was more stupid
Than I could whisper cheat and lie
I could sleep the sleep of a creep
And do it till the day I die

I wish I didn’t have to own up
To what I scheme and plot and plan
Than I wouldn’t have to stand on
My own two feet like a full grown man

I wish I was smug and condescending
I wish I was better than everyone else
Then I wouldn’t have to consider others
And keep the focus on my small inner self

I wish I was pathetic and weak
I wish I could cover it up with false pride
Everybody knows it’s easier for knuckle heads
Who only have to consult the idiot winds

To help them to decide

Neils
11:19 am
06/05/2009
*
transcribed this time
11:48 am
06/05/2009
*

N....again

Sacrament

2009-06-04T18:12:00.000-07:00

This great emptiness of betrayal
This great ignorance of deliberate loss
This great sell out of individual freedom
And replacement of dull bureaucracy as boss

This brow beating and maneuvering
Has replaced viable critical thought
Do we all get to play everything’s ok
Unless of course we get caught

How low is too low
But I already know the answer to that
There is no low some won’t go
In their distortion of truth honor and facts

I’ve never seen more self indulgence
Be more self righteous in its proclamations
Like regression moving with obsession
Can create anything

But cult like worship
In the church of self justification

Neils
3:34 pm
06/04/2009
*
transcribed this time
8:14 pm
06/04/2009

N...again

In the Land of Special Privileges

2009-06-03T07:44:00.000-07:00

In the land of special privileges
I ask for none
I rise each day
And greet the morning sun

With my integrity intact
With my word still ringing true
Who are these people
That want to tell me about you

Like we’re all supposed to
Divide and choose sides
I don’t get it
Who is it that decides

What is valuable
What determines worth
But I guess that’s the question
Ever since man has walked this earth

What part plays the heart
In all we say or are told
What brings us closer
To the whole of the soul

I’m not the one who left you
And tarnished hearth and home
I’m not the one who abandoned
The truth to stand alone

I never sold out friendship
I never made that back room deal
I never spoke of honest earnings
And then took what I could steal

Neils
9:33 am
06/03/2009
*
transcribed this time
9:46 am
06/03/2009

N.....again

First you have to learn

2009-05-29T20:27:00.000-07:00

To rip out each others guts
To scratch out each others eyes
To swear to tell the truth
And then start right in with lies

No mercy is the rule
No compassion is the way
Live in fear of being a fool
And then insist on what you say

Not having to be a part of
Anything to do with being fair
What is the cost of a love
That will not endeavor to dare

To live up to any standard
To measure up to any bar
Except to ignore the simplicity
That

What we do is what we are

Neils
10:00 pm
05/29/2009
*
transcribed this time
10:27 pm
05/29/2009

N....again

You've done more with less

2009-05-14T16:47:00.001-07:00

You’ve made honest contributions
Let yourself decompress
You’ve gone against the odds
And you’ve done more with less

You’ve shined a light in the dark
Survived the winter winds
You’ve opened up new windows
And let the fresh air in

There are always oceans of emotions
Amidst the logic and the facts
But give yourself some credit
Take a breath and relax

Sit down on the front porch
And witness the green of spring
There is peace beauty and serenity
Uplifting on black and yellow wings

Neils
6:30 pm
05/14/2009
*
transcribed this time
6:47 pm
05/14/2009

N....again

What everyone should do

2009-05-13T07:28:00.000-07:00

Everyone should just start gossiping
And really get into being rude
Everyone should become undisciplined
And simply give into any mood

Nobody should check it out
Or make an effort to live in peace
Everybody should just abandon sanity
And let it die drop dead become deceased

Why bother caring anymore
It’s way too much trouble anyway
Just sit there numbly dumbly humming
And wait for the other person

To finish what they have to say

****
****

And then launch right into
What ever it is you’re thinking
Their opinion should be exactly like yours
And if it isn’t it’s obviously

Stupid rotten and stinking

Neils
9:06 am
05/13/2009
*
transcribed this time
9:29 am
05/13/2009

N....again

The Grim Reaper and my eyes

2009-04-03T08:52:00.001-07:00

The Grim Reaper always makes
My eyes glint like steel

You can tell who's been workin
You can tell who's been real
Tell whose been telling the truth
And is honest about how they feel

There’s something in their gait
There’s something in their ways
Something in their smallest movements
That shows they’ve made it through

Some hard days

****
****

May we find some mercy and compassion
Some room in our hearts if we can
For the struggle in all our lives
For the soul of our fellow woman and man

One has to want to be free
To be unchained from the lies and deceit
One has to not wish to twist the truth
To be able to rise above fear of defeat

Yes

Definitely willfully effort to survive
Strive to do well while on this earth
But it is not in the trappings
Of small accolades

That gives our basic humanity
It’s real worth

Neils
9:50 am
04/03/2009
*
transcribed this time
10:53 am
04/03/2009

N.....again

Rose

2009-04-03T07:11:00.000-07:00

The world is a Helleva place
Sometimes it takes a savage grace
Your presence always helped make it
Definitely a better place

May you have the strength of water
May you sustain the intensity of fire
Let not the weight of the Earth
Crush out your hearts desire

We love you out here in the badlands
Amidst the storms of ice and cold
And I know we look ragged and dangerous
But you have touched us to our soul

Some of us only have our swords
Our memories and dreams
And every now and then a quiet camp
And a clean clear sparkling stream

I thank you for your beauty
Your inner light and flame
May as the evening sun goes down
The ravens and wolves long remember your name

Neils
9:02 am
04/03/2009
*
transcribed this time
9:21 am
04/03/2009

N....again

Everyone and No one

2009-03-25T21:05:00.000-07:00

No one has ever suffered loss
No one has ever endured pain
No one has ever been shunned
No one has ever been falsely blamed

Everyone is innocent
There are no gossips here
There is no puffed up false bravado
Covering over fear

No one is in the back room
No one is whispering low
No one is plotting and planning
To lay somebody low

Everyone is happy
There is no sorrow here
There are no wrongs continued
To cover over tears

The evening sun is going down
The wind is blowing in
What was in our heart in the beginning
Will be our reward in the end

Neils
7:05 pm
03/22/2009
*transcribed with edit
11:06 pm
03/25/2009

N…again

This world as seen through amber

2009-03-13T18:56:00.000-07:00

To give into evil
Is but to give into its ways
It always starts with something small
And then builds day after day

Evil has many minions
Some that snip and bite and smirk
They're like smaller demons
Glad just to be an arrogant jerk

And then one of them gets a taste
For blood and flesh and power
And gradually his inclinations obsess
Getting darker hour after hour

And he goes after any who would
Be the wielder of any light
He wants to bring it down dim it out
Take it from others sight

That to him is an accomplishment
That to him is something to achieve
To him the truth is a lie
And to stand strong is only done to deceive

It's amazing how shallow evil can be
But equally so when it comes to relentlessness
It can when given the chance snuff hope out
But is equally satisfied with endless pettiness

The battle field goes on forever
Only above ground is there a soul to save
Come the final clash of sword and shield
There's only if we were brave

Neils
7:54 pm
03/12/2009
*
transcribed this time
8:56 pm
03/13/2009

N....again

Helz yes baby

2009-03-03T08:19:00.000-08:00

Yeah I've been standing on the cliffs of mortality
With the winds of eternity cutting lines on my face
But I still will my way each and every day
And it's not often an easy and relaxed pace

But I do what I can when it comes to training
I run I spar I sweat and push it to achieve
I hold myself to a code for those around me
That I do not lie mislead or deceive

I show some wear it's true
But I've got some strong years left on this frame
I wear my scars and age right out front
I can still go from embers to a roaring flame

But most important I've learned to appreciate
Others who have paid more than a few dues
And when I’ve been privileged to look out their windows
I have often found hard fought hard won hard earned

Astonishingly beautiful views

Neils
9:43 am
03/03/3009
*
transcribed this time
10:20 am
03/03/2009

N....again

I will live my own light

2009-02-20T18:00:00.000-08:00

I will die my own wool
That will not get pulled over my eyes
I vow to tell the truth
Because it’s easier to remember than lies

I will not ever forget you my love
I will not forgive my enemies sworn
We all return to the flame of the fire
From the last day to when we first are born

What is this illusion of magic
Where is the allure of charms
If not under your mystic spell
If not found within your arms

I do not know all the answers
But I do what I can
And I will not betray you
I take my oath as a man

Here in the silence of my room
Here behind this breath of life
I hold as steady as any ax handle
I cut as clean as any knife

I offer up my death
As beauty before your soul
I would be many things unto you
But never never will I

Be cold

Neils
7:59 pm
02/20/2009
*
transcribed this time
8:00 pm
02/20/2009

N....again

I must have forgotten my place

2009-01-13T11:50:00.000-08:00

Only the white man is full blown evil
Only the white man is completely to blame
That’s why they should be individually targeted
That’s why they should be hunted as the game

Other white men should sell them out
To prove they are not rotten to the core
Who else would back a not right white man
But a bigoted race hater traitor spawn of a whore

Many levels of justification have been left
Strewn around and planted in deliberate places
Let it be known these are but for the sole use
Of those who are now deemed inheritors of the graces

The black man the brown man and the yellow
These are the new saviors of the world
These are what should be presented as the
Ultimate mate to every woman of the world

Only the white man is full blown evil
And all should be done to exterminate his kind
He should be degraded and discouraged
At every endeavor he makes body soul or mind

Some of it should be subtle and barely perceptible
Some of it should appear as unintentional
Some of it should be classified as secret
And never be revealed or in anyway mentionable

And yet of course some of it should be rude and coarse
This should be done by the secondary pawns
The thugs the slugs the wanna be hard guys should engage
In a manner that let’s the initiator slip slime away get up and gone

Even this brief on the action witnessed at much peril
Should be cast aside and dismissed but the crazy ravings
Of a lunatic long ago gone over the edge for the old dead ways
Who still thinks there are values worthy of protection and saving

Out of date old fashion traits like blood and honor
Long ago forgotten purpose like knowing who you are
The courage and endurance to crawl through endless mud
Because once you’ve heard what thunder and lightning can say

You belong to the night the wind and the stars

Neils
1:41 am
1/13/2009
*
transcribed this time
1:51 pm
01/13/2009

N....again

To all the nickle shit artists out there

2008-11-19T17:57:00.000-08:00

I know you like to count your beans
I know you like to play your game
But you ain't never really been out there
Where the weathers not fair and it's heavy pain

You've lived inside your air conditioned world
You've lived by your calculators and cell phones
But you have no idea of the sacrifice needed
For what it takes to build even a modest home

You're too busy with your golf
You're too busy with your paper lies
You're too busy to understand that's it's
Only by the strong's mercy that you don't die

I hate all the weaklings lately
Especially the ones who don't know they are
They think they're the normal ones
Because they have this watch this tv this car

And oh yeah their credit is great
They've got it all lined up and straight
And digging a ditch straight to Hell
Like here comes the ending and they can't wait

But it's going to be death all over eternity
Abstract expressionistic imaginative and real
And oh how they think they know what's coming
But they only know how they feel

In their small little world
With their fill in the blank cards
Their statements as to what is policy
And what is and isn't supposed to be hard

They are the stench of garbage rotting
They are the squirming worms maggots and flys
That live off and around the efforts of others
And will do so until called upon to die

Hell isn't a big giant monster
A beast out to rip out your guts
It's the nagging bragging sagging dragging
Around their sorry butts

Right before your eyes
Right before anything next in line
That they always try to cut into
But they ain't gitten

In front of mine

Cause I ain't got one
All I have is this lonely heart
So go ahead and bring out your dead
There's always room for one more

In the cart

Neils
8:33 pm
11/19/2008

Tommorrow

2008-11-16T07:21:00.001-08:00

Tomorrow

Suddenly becomes today
And I start remembering
What last night you had to say

You said you danced with a girl
Back in your high school days
That had more spray net in her hair
Than the B-52’s ever dreamed side ways

And what about that one
That wore her Poodle skirt to school
Man that was something
Her dancing like that at the edge

Of the rules

You were doin some slide stroll thing
You and John were tryin but Ronnie was the best
And that sweet thing that lived up on Blue Bonnet
She eventually put all of yall to the test

Not much rest but a good test

********

Sure there were some heart aches and breaks
That always came down the line
And you said one shouldn’t be too proud of ones self
And everyone deserved to have some regrets from

Time to time

But there was the music The Big Bopper
Buddy Holly even Elvis sang a tune
That had those 45’s spinnin
And girls swoonin in their rooms

Cute ones too with those white lace socks
And Pony tails in their hair
Like you wouldn’t carry their books home
For them even if you lived completely

Opposite of there

Kathy was the one taught you to dance
She eased you into that world
The twist woke you up to the
Outrageous subtle power of a girl

You even saw Misty again at the 10 year re-union
You were both all 74 wild in a parking lot
She in her Cadillac and both of you
Kinda getting off on the chance you

Might get caught

You take some risks you said you take some falls
And sure times can get hard and lean and tough
And you’re only young once but hey
If you do it right once is enough

But sometimes no matter how you recall it
It somehow has a sad streak runnin through
Yeah it’s true it’s true it’s true
Rock N Roll had a dad

And his name was the Blues

****
****

Tomorrow

Suddenly becomes today
And I woke up this morning
And remembered to remember
What you gave a damn enough

To say

Neils
9:20 am
11/16/2008

Will you love me

2008-11-15T07:56:00.000-08:00

Amongst the trash
And stray dogs
All the broken hearts
And sorrow

Will you love me

In the afternoon
When the heat
Bares down
Like there's no tomorrow

Will you love me

As we tour
The grave yards
And the history
Of spoken tales

Will you love me

When you hear the
Defeated talking
Like there's no way out
But to admit we failed

Will you love me

When the birds start singing
Up there in the trees
When the vine with pink flowers
Are reaching out to you and me

Will you love me

Like the breeze that blows
Down Trails End's street
Like if I talk to you openly
And truthfully

Everyother phrase isn't something
I need to repeat

Neils
*written
about the summer of 2006
*
transcribed this time
10:04 am
11/15/2008

N....again

Blonde and Blue Eyed

2008-11-12T10:25:00.000-08:00

She had two children
Of her own
We were both on the bus
And both riding home

She made it better
She made it worthwhile
She was easy on the eyes
And had a genuine smile

She was a runner and mother
But mainly a woman of dreams
She put on no false airs
She was exactly what she seemed

****
****

She was a walking inspiration
She was a sight to behold
She was the alpha and the omega
And made the world less cold

Neils
5:52 pm
11/06/2008
*
transcribed this time
12:29 pm
11/12/2008

N....again

Another day

2008-10-26T08:53:00.000-07:00

Another day in the country
Another day by the lakes and trees
Another day breathing clean fresh air
And watching the turtle and the hawk

Set the pace of being free

Neils
*
started yesterday
finished today
10:57 am
10/26/2008

N....again

Prisoners of the Prism

2008-10-08T07:01:00.001-07:00

Stretch the truth
Put it on the rack
Talk to me about splitting hairs
I’ll split’m with an ax

Hang out with the captives
Talkin useless hope
Stand there on the trap door
Being fitted for a rope

Think up your acceptance speech
About who you need to thank
Practice it on the open seas
About half-way out the gang plank

Discouragement
Low down dirty and mean
I can cut it

Even if it takes a Guillotine

Neils
*
about 1992
*
transcribed this time
8:59 am
10/08/2008

N…again

Don't try to stop me

2008-10-08T06:49:00.000-07:00

Don’t try to stop me
Because….

I don’t like poetry
I don’t like to dance
I don’t like anything
That gives me half a chance

To really get to know you
Call you as a friend
I’ve seen your kind before
You like to pretend

CHORUS:

Skulking down the streets
Sitting by the curb
In daylight fierce with heat
Are the mentally disturbed

While glide rides slide around
Trying to determine
The hippest side of town
Free of intervening vermin

****
****

Hurl me out beyond the garbage
Break loose damn be slammed
It didn’t take me no work
To get me where I am

The milk of human kindness
Is bleeding from the bone
And like a baby in the dumpster
I believe I’ve found a home

Neils
About 1992
*
transcribed this time
8:43 am
10/08/2008

N….again

There You Are

2008-10-02T20:32:00.001-07:00

There you are

There you are with that bright light
Of intensity sensuality and charm
There you are as you were when
When at first my heart was disarmed

I don’t know where you went
I don’t know where you’ve been
All I know is that there was real magic
And a clarity of intentions to attend

To the sacred gifts of eternal everyday
To the sun rising in the morn
When at first we have to live
We simply live because we were born

But somewhere along the line
There may come a discovery of re-birth
And then we have to return to the disciplines
If there is to be any real meaning or any worth

Mortal law has never been my moral compass
I am not easily dealt with or understood
Because if justice rules the land all hail King Arthur
And if not I will more than likely lean toward Robin Hood

Neils
7:54 pm
10/01/2008
*
transcribed this time
10:32 pm
10/02/2008

N....again

Sighs without lies

2008-09-20T08:29:00.000-07:00

I'm into picnics
And wild wild sex
I'm into communication
Simple and direct

I like to read books
I like to shoot guns
I like to dance
And have a little fun

I may not always be easy
But I'm always real
I'm not exactly an angel
But I won't lie cheat or steal

I have a few dogs
I have a few cats
They seem better company
Than where most are at

I train hard and run
I still put on the gloves
But I must be crazy
Because I still believe in love

Not the clingy dingy kind
But the kind that goes to the bone
Not that at times I don't want
And need to be alone

I like to go camping
But then again I like champagne
There's nothing sexier in high heels
Or running shoes

Than perfume sweat and a brain

Neils
10:19 am
09/20/2008
*
transcribed this time
10:31 am
09/20/2009

N.....again

Just Venting

2008-09-08T07:17:00.000-07:00

I'm just venting
Yeah....that's it

I'm really not stating my real beliefs
I'm really not baring my naked soul
I'm really not trying to step past grief
And contribute someting against the

Morally dead corrupt and cold

I've only got these open hands
I've only got the will to heart
But I can tell the difference between
Those who will and those who

Would never ever do their part

To make it a better world
To know how to continue to learn
I can tell when the desire is there
To be willing to step up to protect

Where the home fires burn

I do not suffer fools lightly
Or long for peace at any cost
I live by the law of my blood line
And kneel not down for mindless power

That reeks and seeks to be my boss

I recognize the uplifted sword
I feel the wind of wings
That comes to put steel in my spine
And the courage to face

Why the angels sing

Neils
9:14 am
09/08/2008
*
transcribed this time
9:19 am
09/08/2008

N....again

Sometimes it's the green

2008-08-18T19:06:00.000-07:00

Sometimes it's the green
Sometimes it's a dove
Sometimes it's wings
When we find ourselves in love

Sometimes there's a moment
On a quiet clear day
When a mother and her nest
Brings the best our way

The world has treasures
That can make you sigh
That enriches your soul
Simply by catching your eye

Funny how miracles
Can come to simply be
Like they were always there
For us to see

Neils
9:05 pm
8/18/2008
*
transcribed this time
9:08 pm
08/18/2008

N.....again

If You

2008-08-16T08:52:00.000-07:00

If you can’t say no
How can you say yes
If you haven’t seen me
At my worse

How can you love me
At my best

If you can’t take a lead
How can you ever follow
If you can’t judge me
By my deeds

Then all my thoughts
Are shallow

If you can’t leave me alone
How can we share company
If I am completely blind
In my own home

How can I expect
You to see

If you can’t come back
How could you ever leave
If it’s only at your
Convenience

What’s this talk
Of eternity

Neils
About 1992 or 93
*from the garage collage
transcribed this time
10:47 am
08/16/2007

N.....again

Are you ever

2008-07-31T21:22:00.000-07:00

Are you ever going to make something
Out of your pathetic life

Do you always have to get the last word in
Does it always have do be some kind of

Lame flame blame game

Does it always have to be
Your manipulative muttering stuttering

Incapability of any kind of shame

Are you ever going to focus
Is there anything you think worthwhile
That you’re willing to sacrifice for train for
And not just work that look at me smile

I thought you had youth beauty and charm
I thought you wanted to develop an artist’s soul
But in the end your self entitlement and self indulgences
Turned you into being petty small and cold

So if you think that makes you a winner
Then that just goes to show you haven’t changed much
Are you ever going to step all the way out here
Or would that mean you’d have to leave your

Safety net and fall back crutch

Don’t you think that faith has a place
Don’t you think that talent is earned
So....how heavy is the world
When it’s only saving grace

That can pull you off the last bridge burned

Neils
11:20 pm
07/31/2008
*
transcribed this time
11:24 pm
07/31/2008

N....again

Let us

2008-06-06T06:34:00.000-07:00

Let us all speak of

Of the great unknowable
Of that which can not be spoken of
Let us all witness the awe and wonder
Of this miraculous gift called love

Neils
8:36 pm
06/05/2008
*
transcribed this time
8:35 am
06/06/2008

N.....again

Exiled

2008-05-28T15:27:00.000-07:00

Exiled while still residing in my nation
Orphaned from my living family’s home
And you’ve still got the nerve to ask

Why my heart is as cold as stone

Neils
5:26 pm
05/28/2008

I laid my Spirit to rest

2008-05-11T09:34:00.000-07:00

I laid my Spirit to rest
With my hammer of Thor

Often for two or three months
He would disappear at a time
Then he would suddenly be there again
It was like a miracle of a kind

He was strong and willful
Funny and affectionate too
The dogs even stood back a bit
He had that kind of affect on you

He had claws as sharp as razors
He had a purr that could charm
He’d sleep out in the cold or heat
Or curl up in your arms

He was my familiar
And I’ll miss the Hell out of him
He brought warmth to my heart
And now the lights a little less dim

****
****

He was as black as night
And as beautiful as any storm
I was alone on the highway
When into my life he was born

****
****

When he was young
He’d go looking for a fight
He was always on the prowl
And doin what a cat thought was right

Later when he got older
He did less roaming around
But no one took his territory
No one ever took him down

He was ferocious when he fought
All out fury rage and skill
Un-relentless in the attack
He never did surrender his will

But he had his humor
Like taking a swat at you
When you walked too close by
And didn’t look at what he wanted you to

He could eat a helleva lot
I was amazed at how much he could
A chicken thigh a half can of food
And some dry food on the side did him good

With the obligatory bowl of milk
From time to time to time
I liked him and loved him a lot
He was a true one of a kind

In Honorous Memoria

Neils
11:32 am
05/11/2008
*
transcribed this time
11:35 am
05/11/2008

N.....again

It is a hard path to walk

2008-05-07T19:40:00.000-07:00

It is a hard path to walk

When one chooses the warriors way
It is not always based on talk
Or in negotiating everything you say

Sometimes it's us or them
Sometimes it's me or him
And you do everything you can
To keep the other guys chances slim

It takes a lot of training
Thinking sweat and sacrifice
You learn to instinctually trust each other
You don't always have time to repeat yourself twice

But we do give a damn about our nation
Our loved ones family and friends
And we are willing to walk it out there
Where you don't have the luxury of depends

You run you gun
You read letters from home
We all live for each other
Because in the end

We all die alone

****
****

I still have brothers I'll never forget
I still have moments of stark sheer fear
I still try to speak for those who can't anymore
And it is only for them I shed any tears

But I love you anyway
Even if I'm not understood
And if I had to do it all again
I know I would

War never leaves you
I see it on the young men coming back
To me....

They look like young wolves
Just trying to find their pack

Neils
9:14 pm
05/07/2008
*
transcribed this time
9:41 pm
05/07/2008

N.....again

All this Death and Beauty

2008-03-21T19:24:00.000-07:00

All this Death and Beauty

All these walks in the moonlit night
All these stories that are told
All these inner struggles as to what is right

Oh where for art our soul
But in our eyes and hands
How is it that we use our intellect
Till we rise above what we understand

There is more eternity in a blade of grass
Than anything that I will ever write
Like that would somehow stop me
From refracting off this light

That I have seen as inspiration
That I have heard in a wise mans song
That I have seen on a teenager
Although there I believe it was a thong

All this Death and beauty

All these tests along our way
All our accomplishments and failures
All this Death and Beauty

That takes our breath away

Neils
9:09 pm
03/21/2008
*
transcribed this time
9:25 pm
03/21/2008

N....again

Random thoughts of Spring

2008-03-13T14:25:00.001-07:00

Random thoughts of Spring

Some girls are as cold as ice
And some just blow you away
Some just want you to be all nicey nice
And others turn the night into day

Some girls are alway busy busy
But some how manage to draw near
Some will even dare to stand with you
Through your real anger challenges and tears

Some girls are from heaven above
And still somehow as naughty as Hell
Some girls like to wear leather gloves
And are ready to go bell to bell

Some girls can make you sigh
Some girls revive your soul
Some girls somehow know the magic
Of being simultaneously shy

And bold

Neils
4:04 pm
03/13/2008
*
transcribed this time
4:25 pm
03/13/2008

N......again

There are worse things in this world

2008-02-26T20:32:00.000-08:00

Than to be thought of as an outsider
To be avoided at all costs
There are worse things in this world
That bring about suffering and loss

What of the spiritually bereft
What of the arrogantly blind
What of the man that’s always right
Right the Hell out of his mind

What of the woman who wants
A real man in this world to hold
But she wants it all to come to her
She does not want to have to be bold

What of the young man who rebels
But doesn’t know what he’s for
He only knows what he’s against
And sure is lopsided keeping the score

There are worse things in this world

Than to be thought of as an after thought
To be taken for granted at leisure’s ease
Think of all those who’s self worth is
Totally dependent on whom they please

The agony

The agony of not being able to face
The bleak and unknowable fate of fates
Through which we must all pass
To even begin to know the wisdom of how to

Quietly wait

Neils
10:29 pm
02/26/2008

It didn't make any difference

2008-01-09T13:39:00.000-08:00

That I had been in Vietnam
And I had been in the Corp
When my mother passed away
It was like nothing ever before

It didn't make any difference

If I had been in martial arts
For years and years
Nothing stopped that emptiness
The aching or the tears

It didn't make any difference

If I had read all about eternal truth
Or knew the books through and through
Before it had just been a saying
Unless it personally happens to you

I'd loved and lost
And loved and lost yet again
But never before had I felt the shock
Of the world come to such an end

I'd been a man a long long time
I had struggled deep to find my soul
But I'm tellin you when my mom passed
I felt like I was nine years old

And completely inconsolable
Completely beyond any reach
I was tossed out on agonies seas
I was torn from the living breech

And I don't know how I went on
I don't until this very day
But yet now with the passing of time
I hear her voice I feel her caring

About how I make my way

With love

Neils
3:34 pm
01/09/2008
*
transcribed this time
3:42 pm
01/09/2008

N.....again

WHAT IS IT WITH

2007-12-26T14:47:00.000-08:00

Some Women

Some women call you up
Like they never threw a
Baseball bat through your window

Like they don’t deserve
To reap what they sow

Some women call you up
Like they’re not some kind of
Undercover I’m not over my last lover maniac

Like they want to reclaim the knife
They left in your back

Some women call you up
Like all they want to do
Is deliver a sweet innocent holiday greeting

Like they’d actually relate if
You’re not their lamb to slaughter bleating

Some women call you up
Like nothing’s wrong and if
It is you just now caused it to happen

Like wipe that smile off your face
Or I will with a good slappin

****
****

But I don’t think so this time

This time
You’re going to have to walk up hill
This time
You’re going to have to not kill the thrill

This time
You’re going to have to be disarming
This time
You’re going to have to be real

And charming

This time
It’s on you
And if not
See ya

Neils
4:44 pm
12/26/2007
*
transcribed this time
4:48 pm
12/25/2007

N....again

And that's all fine and good but

2007-12-03T16:19:00.000-08:00

Yeah well somewhere in all this nicey nice

Has to be some seriously hot hot sex
Something to do with writhing sweat
And making the bed an absolute wreck

Yeah….I’d like to watch you get off
I’d like you to tease me please me as well
Come on baby somewhere in there has to be
Us singing that siren song like we’re ringing a bell

You can act all offended if you want
But I’d like for us to take each other home
I like for us to drive each other crazy
And get down into to some heavy moans and groans

And yes I like picnics and conversations
And I like to take some long long walks
And honestly at times there’s nothing better
Than an a simple smile a laugh and a talk

But really

If getting naked isn’t in there somewhere
I’ve got to tell you I don’t want to pretend
And the last thing in the world I need right now
Is more non physical……….caring

And some sincere oh so sincere
Can’t we be just friends

Neils
6:17 pm
12/03/2007
*
transcribed this time
6:20 pm
12/03/2007

N......again

Girls

2007-12-02T16:29:00.000-08:00

Girls just like to drift around
With their heads full of crap
While they suck out some guy’s life blood
Like he was born to be their sap

Girls just like to check you out
And then to string you along
While they wait for Mr Perfect
As they sing they’re let’s all get along song

Girls are what they are
They’re the mix of both worlds
They’re like demon angels
Askin you for diamonds while

They wear some other guys pearls

They don’t know any better
They live in a complete illusion
They’re just not happy unless everything
Around them is in complete confusion

They’ll blame you and they’ll shame you
And take all of your cd’s
And swear they were just about to love you
If you only hadn’t … been so mean to me

Their thoughts are all jumbled mush
For being such conniving tarts
They listen attentively at your hunger for life
But all they can think about is eating

Your still beating heart

Neils
8:24 am
12/02/2007
*
transcribed this time
6:29 pm
12/02/2007

N.....again

One to one with winters blossom

2007-11-14T06:39:00.000-08:00

What wonderment fills our future

What fullfillment lies ahead
Which way does the road twist and turn
That probably depends upon the lessons
We learned or should have learned

Is there a wintry morn
With it's fog and gray wet grace
Shrouding the day's first light
As we move to find our place

In this ever changing new world
With it's challenges and dangers
Who among us seeks to know us
Who among us remain the strangers

Part of that is our decision
Part of that resides with fate
Which way is the garden
And which way swings the gate

Neils
8:36 am
11/14/2007
*
transcribed this time
8:30 am
11/14/2007

N.....again

I saw

2007-10-19T18:28:00.000-07:00

I saw
2007
Halfway to Hell
Halfway to Heaven

I saw a young boy on a drug corner
Standing there all alone
I wondered if he’d been abandoned
Thrown out of his home

I saw a booney hatted one
Riding on the bus
Moving in the shadow
Amongst the few he had left to trust

I saw the bridge where the tramps
Went underneath to sleep
Or to get a bullet in the forehead
Put there by some creep

I saw a string of lights
And they were all coming straight at me
As I ran along side the road
To stay strong enough to remain free

Neils
8:27 pm
10/19/2007
*
transcribed this time
8:30 pm
10/19/2007

N.....again

This World

2007-09-28T09:59:00.000-07:00

This world is now aflame
And I have seen it in the sky
I have seen it in the lovers
That look into one anothers eyes

I have seen it in the madness
That now stalks and walks our streets
I have seen it in the sadness
Of once brave souls that gave into retreat

Much has been said of temporary glory
Much has been given for popular praise
Many steps have been mistakenly taken
That do not account for the

End of days

****
****

For it's never been easy

To be in this world but not of it
This world of awesome beauty and choice
But better to walk on alone forever
Than to give credibility to anything

Other than truth's voice

Neils
11:56 am
09/26/2007
*
transcribed this time
12:01 pm
09/28/2007

N.....again

Notes.... in the journal of the journey

2007-09-09T06:38:00.000-07:00

Let us face the miracles

With our wit and grace
Let us find our lives alive
Let us find our place

To apply our discipline
Our integrity and pride
Let us seek through humility
Our beauty not to hide

It is not done for the honors
It's is not done for the reward
But to pay homage to the light
We are all walking toward

To get a bit of respect
In one's own time
From one's own peers
Is worth the effort

Worth the climb

Neils
8:20 am
09/09/2007
*
transcribed this time
8:40 am
09/09/2007

N.....again

Which side of the river are you on

2007-08-11T21:49:00.000-07:00

A sky blue view

2007-08-05T10:10:00.000-07:00

Life force

2007-08-05T10:07:00.000-07:00

A path in my back yard

2007-08-05T10:04:00.000-07:00

You caught me

2007-07-26T22:34:00.000-07:00

You caught me

I can put a round up a fleas ass
At three hundred yards
I can come at you fast
I can come at you hard

But you caught me in my garden
Caught me with my reeds and flowers
You caught me sitting quietly
Passing away a peaceful hour

I can run six clicks out and walk
Back against the waters current flow
I know when the rains come and it
Floods where the snakes prefer to go

But you caught me looking at the sky
Caught me looking up into that blue
You caught me thinking up a song
That I from my heart would give to you

I can do hundreds of push ups and sit ups
As well as put in some time with weights
I have great respect for men who’ve stepped
In to test their full measure with fate

But you caught me cooking dinner
Preparing some good for you food
You caught me laughing out loud
Enjoying music and being in a joyful mood

So now what do we do
How do we resolve this Celtic knot
Do we look into each others eyes
And both give it our best shot

Neils
12:30 am
07/27/2007
*
transcribed this time
12:35 am
08/27/2007

N......again

YOU WANT TO DO A WIZARD DANCE WITH ME OR.....

2007-05-18T16:10:00.000-07:00

Keep blaming institutions
Keep using generalities
Keep using up your life
And hiding from reality

Right some heavy wrongs
Write some clever lines
Insinuations pretty strong
And other wasted petty crimes

We're all individuals
Tell me what's the use
Turning on the light
To read another excuse

****
****

Pouring over manuscripts
Is it getting through
Tell us what you think
We see what you do

Keep talking revolution
Put it to the test
With inclusive evolutions
Or you're like all the rest

Power Holy Power
For the world to see
Crumbling prideful towers
Before the bended kneee

Former civilizations
Ruins by the shore
A solitary figure
Plans to even the score

Power Holy Power
For the world to see
Crumbling prideful towers
Before the bended knee

Neils
*
about 1993
performed at the real
Ed's Poet's Society
at a small book store off
South Alamo Street
*
transcribed this time
6:16 pm
05/18/2007

N.....again