I've never been this lonely

This lonely

I've never felt this lonely before
I've never felt this misplaced
I've never felt this confused
Unable to find the smallest trace

Of a connection to living things
No bridge to spiritual beings
No link with the past or present
As though all purpose were fleeing

Before the blind eyed premeditation
The gnawing safety of guarantees
The pantheon of crimson gatherings
Are all calling out to me

And I want to reply with my body
With an answer that is complete
But wholeness slowly escaping
Reeks of pathetic apathetic defeat

I'm an empath only to madmen
My love is at the sores of whores
I've entered into banquet halls

But it was a beggar
That opened the door....



Neils
*
about 1993
*
transcribed this time
with feeling
6:35 pm
12/17/2004