neilsthepoet blog: December 2004

Thursday, December 30, 2004

I'm not your friend

I'm not your friend

You don't have any friends
Only people who think like you do
And if you waver in the slightist
You know exactly what they'll do

Oh they talk about freedom
But you wouldn't stand a chance
If you don't follow the party line
And dance every step to their dance

Of Infirmative action
Of America's always wrong
And the only way the world will love us
Is for us not to be so strong

And you don't know what fake is
Or you wouldn't open your mouth like that
And spill out all your trauma drama
Without any relevant back up facts

You're just a hit and run
You're just a short quick flame
Who trys to rough puff up all big
But you are basically ... tame

You're a nice guy right
Because you don't have any other choice
It would take a certain kind of strength
For you to find your real voice

And you may or may not
More than likely probably not
Because there's just a whole lot of
Encouragement now-a-days

To remain a smart assed snot

7:04 pm
transcribed this time
2:25 pm
10:54 pm

N....yet again

Monday, December 27, 2004

There are times

There are times you have to live
Past the darkness

The nighttime and the rain
There are times that you are measured
And all of it is not for gain

Sometimes loss must be suffered
If victory is to stand a chance
Sometimes it is not all pretty
This thing we call chivalry and romance

But I am a western man
And I will die before I am not free
I will not bow before another
And let them tell me what I’ll be

I wear steel upon my belt
And a heart beats in my chest
I will not falter at the challenge
I have and will live to give my best

I have known my share of roses
But if it is time for me to go
The price will not be all mine
You must step to the fore to know

And I have done so many times
And one day I’ll not return
And there will be no light for me
But it will not be because my spirit

Did not burn

4:44 am
transcribed this time
7:44 pm

Sunday, December 26, 2004

E. Woodlawn Revelation Transformation

There was a heavy mist coming down
And hanging in the air
Slowly falling onto our shoulders
Clinging like diamonds to her hair

Soaking our clothes and skin
But still we talked past the cold
She said she was taking a chance
But you always do when it comes to soul

She had responded well earlier
When the edge had come to her words
Inside each sharp beaked taloned one
Beats the heart of a small song bird

She had chosen to return the visit
Had placed herself into the unknown
Did the best she could to reveal
That intelligence had built her home

But her heart now yearned for more
And she had sought out and engaged
Those who wielded emotion and body
Expressing such violence and rage

That one came near to forgetting
That it was performance and dance
As innocent as the tearing of flesh
To feed the offspring of a romance

When the world ceases to be dangerous
It is because you are no longer alive
This one I believe wants to fly and see
The nature of the strong is to survive

But not in a way that compromises
The next generations lives and songs
If joyous or fierce screeching offends
Get off this cliff and down where you belong

By the time we finished talking

The mist was still coming down
And hanging in the air
Still falling on our shoulders
But the diamonds..

Were everywhere

1993...more than likely
transcribed this time
7:40 pm

Saturday, December 25, 2004

Some new old sayings

They hold you responsible
For everything you do
They only hold themselves responsible
For what they .... mean .... to do


The only men that don't like strong women
Are weak men




Reasons to keep putting off
Your dreams

First you're too young
Then you're too busy
Then you're too old

You're too dead

10:26 pm



We can’t be afraid to lose
We can’t be afraid to choose
What it is we are looking for
What it is that we use

Or does it use us
Are we not free to try
Are we not incarnate spirits
Can we not lift our wings to fly

Faith is such a strong thing
But it does come at a price
Putting it on the line divine
Whoever said it would all be nice

Was lying or immature
Or day dreaming their life away
The real thing does take work
And it takes all night and day

Clinging is for vines
Compromise is a bargaining chip
I believe there is a difference between
A sojourn and a vacationing trip

Freedom is a soul word
Strength is an attribute
That is developed over years
And is not the same as being cute

The center of all power
Is a mighty flame a burning ship
The tender mercy from an angel
As she brushes lightly upon your lips

With hers
When she speaks of love and lust
Incredible are the visions
Of all this dancing dust

I am in the stars you see
I am in the tears you cry
I am with you every step of the way
I am in your last goodbye

But for now I am this song
And I want it to be true
I want it to be worthy of
The heart I’m singing it to

6:50 pm
transcribed this time
10:10 pm

Sunday, December 19, 2004

A Picture of Loki Posted by Hello

Friday, December 17, 2004

I've never been this lonely

This lonely

I've never felt this lonely before
I've never felt this misplaced
I've never felt this confused
Unable to find the smallest trace

Of a connection to living things
No bridge to spiritual beings
No link with the past or present
As though all purpose were fleeing

Before the blind eyed premeditation
The gnawing safety of guarantees
The pantheon of crimson gatherings
Are all calling out to me

And I want to reply with my body
With an answer that is complete
But wholeness slowly escaping
Reeks of pathetic apathetic defeat

I'm an empath only to madmen
My love is at the sores of whores
I've entered into banquet halls

But it was a beggar
That opened the door....

about 1993
transcribed this time
with feeling
6:35 pm

Wednesday, December 15, 2004

Where would you be

If the world all ended tonight
Would a guitar be ringing in your head
Or would you just flat out be freakin
That here you are layed out on your death bed

If the world all ended tonight
Would you fly up to the stars and moon
Or would you be silently screaming
It wasn't supposed to be this soon


Oh yeah what if you're not ready
Oh yeah what if you don't want to go
What you gonna do about it then
Won't that be one helleva show

Oh yeah what if you're not ready
When the ocean floor gives way and deepins
Oh what .... are .... you gonna do
When that cold cold darkness comes a creepin



If the world all ended tonight
Would there be any music in your soul
Would there be any wings there for you
To lift up beyond all this struggle for control

Or would you be left tryin to cry out
All the tears that you ever held back
Bargaining for just a tiny bit more time
To figure how one loses when the deck is stacked


Repeat chorus:


Oh yeah
Where would you be
If the world all ended tonight

Oh yeah
Where would you be
If the world all ended tonight

Song ends with a guitar ringing
Music steady and strong then fading

To waves coming in ashore
And then the sound of cards being shuffled,
Dealt.............then silence.

8:37 pm

Tuesday, December 14, 2004

Love is a key

Love is a key

Love is a key
That can open up the skys
Is a rock to stand on
When you don’t know why

Is heat and passion
And happy delight
A shared silly moment
A reason to only fairly fight

A house that children
Can learn to love too
Where it is what you say
And in what you do

Love is a door
That is always there
It’s the deepest of mysteries
That something in the air

Love is awesome power a state of being
Seer and Seen one in the act of seeing

7:04 pm
transcribed this time
8:43 am

Love is the only rock

Love is the only rock

Worth being pushed
To the top of the hill
Love is an engagement
Of perseverance and will

Love is a struggle
That can test your soul
Or that something you can’t have
If you too tightly hold

Love is a fire
That burns like white heat
That spurns all buyers
And dances to primal beats

Love is a thunderstorm
And a lightning strike
That’ll give you what you need
But maybe not what you like

Love is acceptance
And gentle forgiving
A process of simplicity
And everyday living

Love isn’t fair but isn’t fair weather
Love is steel lace and a leather feather

7:17 pm
transcribed this time
8:40 pm

I like coffee

I drink coffee like
A vampire drinks blood
Like a worm
Eats mud

Like the starving
Eat food
I like what it does
To my mood

I like coffee
Like an old friend
At the door
I welcome in

Like who needs
To sleep tonight
I got some of that
Last Tuesday....right

about 1995
transcribed this time
8:37 am

Friday, December 10, 2004

I know

I know
I’ll be everything
That’ll….solve it

I’ll be your peace maker and killer
I’ll be your hero and villain too
I’ll be the lover you’ve always wanted
But not have any idea what to do

I’ll be your famine and feast
The rain water and the drought
The maximum in self confidence
That aching nagging doubt

I’ll be the horror in your nightmares
The savior in your dreams
That quiet house on the side of the road
The master of every extreme

I’ll be your diplomat and warrior
I’ll be your suffering and pain
The psychiatrist who truly cares
But declares himself insane

I’ll be your writer and reader
I’ll be your knife and sheath
The hurricane that pounds the coast
That one small trembling leaf

I’ll be your mountain and sky
A breath taking expanded view
Or the humbleness of small rocks
If only to be at the feet of you

I’ll be what I have to be
I’ll fit in with everything
Or the only one in the choir
Who refuses to fake what he sings

I’ll be the soil for your flower
The encourager of the truth
The destroyer of all your enemies
The tornado that tears off their roof

about 1995
transcribed this time
11:32 am

Sunday, December 05, 2004

Once there was a mad man

Once there was a mad man

Once there was a mad man
And he gave me all his dreams
All his heartaches and visions
All those no longer clean

He had born them far
There were scars upon his shoulders
From carrying them over rocks
Along the paths between the boulders

It had been a rough climb
In climate weather had set in
Hostile to anything exposed
Calling nothing living its friend

But still he had gone on
Through the bitter biting cold
That howled like a wounded thing
Gone crazy but still being bold

I had come upon him
On a particularly vicious night
He lay there upon the ground
His eyes all blazing light

He said he had had to finally rest
And had crawled out upon the ledge
Underneath the overhang
Next to the shrub and edge

There have been others before you
They took the ones about flowers
They took the songs of peace
And the quietly passing hours

He opened up his pack
All I have left are these
The ones that challenge forces
That would fight the being free

All they left me were these
The ones about blood and shoes
I’m sorry it’s so misbalanced
And I have nothing else to give to you

About 92
During the run of the
Real Ed’s Poets Society
transcribed this time
7:18 pm

Friday, December 03, 2004

What about credentials

What about credentials

You know what's wrong
The organization man
Has gotten to you
Extending out a hand

Calling it discretion
Working the market place
Give'm what they want
Put on your game face

Hiring you on
As his lackey boy
His favorite gopher girl
His favorite give me toy


This ain't no time
For empty words
This is a
Call to action

This ain't no time
For show boats
We need engines tuned
And traction

We need real mechanics
We need greasy hands
Pit stop precision
Makes some hard demands

Prove you're a driver
Certificates all over the place

But it's

Pole to pole
Soul to soul
And there ain't no other race

about 1996
transcribed this time
10:25 pm